woensdag 27 november 2013
Blog moved
"There is no line on the horizon.
Only an open invitation to explore both worlds,
discover the depths of heaven and earth."
I am proud to announce that I finally launched my new blog!
After years of having 5 blogs with different purposes and on different platforms, I decided to start all over again.
My photography portfolio and website are still in process, but my new blog is ready to be filled.
It's a step in a direction towards my dreams and it's a place where I can share my heart in writing and photography.
Join me and explore the open horizons at:
http://exploreopenhorizons.wordpress.com/
This blog won't be updated anymore after this day, but will remain online to display 5-year worth of memories and stories.
A huge thanks to my followers and readers, I hope to see you at the new blog!
woensdag 16 oktober 2013
The Timeless One
(I'm currently taking a writers class at school. One of the assignments was to write 200-400 words about the way we encounter God and connect with Him. I wrote a little poetic piece about how I meet with God in peaceful rest.)
In the soft
whispers of silence I hear my strong Savior speak. It's in the hidden corners
of a world full of whirlwinds that I meet with the Prince of Peace. The
Timeless One is never in a rush.
He holds me tight as I unwind in His
everlasting embrace. He trades pressure for peace, fear for freedom and hurry
for hope. I linger at His feet as time seems to stand still. I dive into the
depths of His gaze and let His furious love drown me.
Only melodies of music
surround me and only my pen can find the paper. Words form worlds when my eyes
find the face of my Maker. I sketch the outlines of His countenance and allow
the limited vocabulary of my heart to describe this Relentless Lover. The form
of His faithfulness and the shape of His steadfastness paints the rest of my
day.
His loving affection pours over me like a powerful waterfall that I can
barely stand. How can I ever receive a love so limitless?
But I lean into His
arms to hear His words in my ear. "And if you can't grasp it today, I will
still be here tomorrow."
In rest I am found, in peace I will remain.
zaterdag 20 april 2013
Travel journal: Nicaragua day 1
Travel journal: Friday - day 1 of the Bethel Missiontrip to Nicaragua
I lay my
hands on the school seats and pray that there will come world changers,
revivalist and leaders of this nation out of these chairs. Positive statements
in Spanish, drawings and learning tools are displayed on the colorful walls of
the classroom. The bright colors of the paint reflect the hope this
‘lighthouse’ brings. Miriam, wife of pastor Ramon, just showed us around in the
school, daycare and church. Normally, these rooms are filled with many children
from the neighborhood and the trash dumps, who enjoy the care, education and
protection of the ministry. But now it’s Spring break, so the rooms are only
filled with 14 Bethel-students who are walking around and releasing blessing.
The power of intercession is bigger than we can ever imagination, so it feels
like a huge privilege to be able to pray for this place. I walk around the
rooms as I pray and observe. Stocks of colorful, little chairs remind me that
we were just told that in a room, that’s smaller than my bedroom, they take
care of 31 toddlers. We can only imagine what that must look like after the
weekend, when school starts again.
The sun
shines bright in my eyes and the wind takes my hair when I step outside. I look
up to the sky and declare that the glory of God will shine on this place as the
sun is beaming down on it, and the Holy Spirit will move as the wind blows through the palm
trees. As I walk by the kitchen and pray for more than enough food for all the
kids, the words of Miriam resound through my memory. “God provide for my
heroes”. She told us about her teachers, who are her heroes. They can’t pay
them as much as they would want to pay
them, because the kids go to school and daycare for free. It’s inspiring to
hear how the pastor’s couple are living in trust and dependency of the
donations of Gods people for Gods people. I pray for provision for her heroes,
the teachers, and I pray for provision for my new heroes: the pastor and his
wife.
--
We’re taking
a tour through Managua in the van. Through the car windows we see the environment
change and become poorer and poorer, until we arrive at the dumps. Charity is
surprised when she sees the streets full of colorful houses. “Wow, these
weren’t here a couple of years ago!” Mario, our guide and translator, explains
that Spain has supported the build of many houses for the people who lived in
the dumps for more than 5 years. Where there once was nothing but dirt, dust
and trash, are now cleaned out streets with small, cement houses in the colors
of the rainbow. Of course everybody is excited to hear about the improvement of
the living conditions of the people. But Mario also points out that these
people are still in need, especially spiritually. “You can get the people out
of the dumps, but you can’t get the dumps out of the people. They need a change
in the way they think and therefor they need God in their lives.” We all agree,
that’s the reason why we want to serve the pastor’s ministry in the trash
dump these weeks. Even though we’re
driving through some extreme poverty, we are all convinced of the hope that
there’s available for the country. “I love my country, I want to serve my
people. My favorite part of Nicaragua is their hospitality and their social attitude,”
tells Mario while we are driving past many colorful houses where families are
sitting on their porch. Kids play in plastic pools to escape the tropical heat
and older people are talking to neighbors. “I grew up and was raised in
Managua. My favorite part is that everybody always meets outside. I would meet
my friends on the corner. God has placed me here for a purpose.” The love for
his nation and passion for his people is contagious. Yes, Nicaragua is a
beautiful country full of potential.
©ElineMillenaar
Magazine Nicaragua Missiontrip
Click here for the magazine!
Oh and note to self: no more designing magazines in Word. 2 pages before I was finished, the software did something weird and completely messed up my design. Frustration to the max! So I'm praying that Jesus will miraculously download Adobe InDesign on my laptop... That would be amazing haha!
woensdag 17 april 2013
Mission trip to Nicaragua
Colored with
hope.
Green,
yellow, pink and orange. Balloons in all
different colors and shapes are floating through the air, accompanied by soap
bubbles and the sounds of many excited children. Some team members are painting
the kid’s faces while others are carrying around little babies. We are at a
daycare of El Faro, a church in Managua, Nicaragua. This is the church we serve
these 10 days of our mission trip. The church has a daycare and school for
children from the trash dumps and the surrounding neighborhood. Every morning we
get to help them serve the kids breakfast and play with them afterwards. The
future of this nations lays in the little hands of these children. It’s our
honor to invest in them, because we realize that each of them has to full
potential of becoming a world changer.
The pastors of the church have already proven themselves to be world changers.
Pastor Ramon and his wife Miriam lead the church El Faro, the school, the day
care, the ‘sowing machine ministry’, the partnering churches in the dumps and
the family of their 2 daughters and 5 adopted children. They live in genuine
integrity and love in every area of their lives and the results are following
their heart’s attitude. It’s just a small church, but their impact on the
community is massive. They are God’s heroes, and became ours too.
Green, blue
and orange. The houses beside the road are painted colorfully. We catch
glimpses of the city as we drive out of Managua towards the trash dump
Tipitapa. The colors of the city fade away quickly into shades of grey and
brown of dirt and faded colors of poverty. We arrive at a little village
looking out over a large piece of ground full of trash, dirt and burning tires.
The houses of the village are made of material that’s probably coming out of
the same trash dumps. The people here live and work here, they collect pieces
of plastic for almost a week to sell it for less than 2 dollar. These are the
circumstances that the newspapers would label as extreme poverty. We enter one
of the houses and meet a family of three: Mario and Teresa and their son
Domingo. We get to pray for the hernia of Mario, and his back pain completely
leaves as we release the healing power of Jesus! We love on them, hug them,
pray for them and prophecy life over them. After she dried her tears, Teresa
proudly shows us around in her garden where she grows a couple of trees and
plants for food. We are all just as excited as she is and are amazed by how
well she stewards the little she has. We bless the ground and the plants to be
supernatural fruitful before we continue our ‘freestyle treasure hunt’ in the
trash dump. A couple of precious families, many prayers and a pair of healed
knees later we are on our way back to the city again. As we drive through the
village I no longer see the devastating, despairing state of the village
anymore. I see many people who know the value of family better than we do. I
see Gods precious children being hungry for more of Him and better living
circumstances, but being trapped in the vicious circle of poverty and a poverty
mentality. My heart breaks as I see that their living circumstances are way
below what they should be for precious, royal sons and daughters of the King.
But my heart rejoices together with Gods heart in who they are. They are not
pitiful, hopeless, sad beings, they are people with great potential and who
will run with whatever is given them. If success is measured in character and
relationships instead of accomplishment, our Western world might be less successful
then these people. Perhaps we should listen to them more and learn from them
instead of labeling them as helpless without our help. I try to take off my
Western glasses and look at them from a Kingdom perspective. All of a sudden I
see this village in the dumps becoming green. Green is the color of hope,
growth and fruitfulness. I see the ground of this village becoming fruitful and
producing enough food for the families to sustain themselves. I see the ground
of the heart of the people becoming soft and fruitful for the seed of the
Spirit of God and creating an atmosphere of harmony, love and community. All of
a sudden I’m overwhelmed by this sense of hope for this place. There’s more
hidden gold in the dirt of the trash dumps than I expected to find.
Green,
yellow and blue. Colorful little chairs are set up for the kids of the church.
Their moms and dads and our team take their seats behind them. We are at the
church in the village in the trash dump Tipitapa again, but this time for the
Sunday morning service. Luckily the Presence of God is not dependent on whether
you speak the language of the worship songs or not, so we dance, hum and
worship with them as good as we can. One of our team members gets up to preach
and afterwards our team calls out prophecies to different people in the church.
Surprised looks on their faces, tears welling up in their eyes or big smiles
shaping their mouths; their reactions to the words of God are beautiful. The
same beautiful responses is seen on the faces of the church leaders when we
meet with them after the service. We call out different words of knowledge and
pray for healing for many of them. God the Healer touches their lives as back
pain leaves at two people, peace comes over anxious hearts, a neck can be fully
moved again, headache left and pain in the knee left and could be bended
completely again. These miracles of healing are seen all through our trip,
because the God Whom we read about in the Bible is still the same today. The
leadership meeting of the church ‘El Faro’ ended in prophetic ministry and
ministry in words of knowledge and healing. On Wednesday night we led a healing
service and saw many miracles. Blind eyes opened, pain leaving and full
movement and functioning of body parts again. All of that just by praying in
the name of Jesus. In the last church service, our team didn’t pray alone for
the sick. We asked the church members to pray with us, because it’s important
that they experience that the healing power of Jesus also works through their
hands and prayer. And yet again, many people got touched by Gods power and were
healed! Every miracle is more than a testimony of Him being still alive and an
expression of the light of His kingdom invading the darkness, it’s in His very
nature to heal and show His love to His children!
Green and
grey. The grey walls are steadily covered in green as we paint the classrooms
of the school at El Faro. Some are scrubbing the floor, others are cleaning the
chairs and another part of our team is repairing the roof of Carolina. Carolina
is feeding many children from the trash dumps every day in collaboration with
El Faro, but her own house is about to collapse because of the bad condition of
her roof. Our whole team came to Nicaragua to bring revival and minister in
love. Bringing revival looks like praying and prophesying over people, but it
also looks like serving practically in love and honor. Ministry is nothing more
and nothing less than love. Love looks like something and has many forms to
express herself. As sweat and dirt are covering our skin, the revelation that
we are being the (working) hands and feet of God is covering our hearts. We
want to build the Kingdom and leave something tangible behind in the spiritual
atmosphere and in the physical environment.
Green, red,
orange and purple. The market is filled with colorful products inviting us to
buy souvenirs or just enjoy the laid-back pace of our ‘fun-day’. We’ve seen the
poverty of the country, as well as the beauty of her nature and culture. We
find that beauty in a cup of iced coffee in Casa del Café, in the experience of
a market inside an old castle and in the flavors of mango’s and coconuts that
just fell of the trees. We find the beauty as we are floating on a boat past
little islands in a lake with a volcano at the horizon and palm trees full of
birds and monkeys besides the water. It feels like we’re floating through a
National Geographic magazine. Our leaders don’t jam our time full with ministry
and activity, but give us enough time to rest, bond as a team and enjoy this
trip. And since is ministry not something you do, but an overflow of who you
are, there are always plenty of ministry opportunities. The security guard of a
coffee shop had no more pain in his knees after prayer and a single mom who was
begging on the streets full of tourists in Grenada felt loved and seen as we
prayed and prophesied over her. Ministry is not restricted to church services,
it’s a lifestyle of love!
Red, orange,
yellow, green, blue and purple. All the colors of the rainbow are displayed in
the rich culture of Nicaragua. Some were bright and shining, some were faded
away in the dimming darkness of poverty. But from all the colors we’ve experienced
this mission trip, we will always remember how one color forever painted the
inside of our hearts towards nations, places and people. Green, the color of
hope.
©Eline Millenaar – April 10, 2013
©Eline Millenaar – April 10, 2013
zondag 24 maart 2013
It's a beautiful life
A day exploring San Francisco with friends. What a beautiful city! |
Friends, food, beautiful view, camfire, worship, prophecy, fun: perfect night! |
A birthday with the Dutch Bethel-students. My family, not by blood, but by heart! |
Blog update BSSM
Something that has been on my to-do-list for ages is writing an update for my BSSM blog. Since I'm leaving Thursday for Nica, I had to write it this weekend. Tadaaaa http://judieeline.blogspot.com/2013/03/times-flies.html there it is! I feel so accomplished! Haha, anyways, here is my part as an update on how my heart and life are doing. Sorry, it's in Dutch!
--
--
Wow, de tijd vliegt! Er gebeurt hier zoveel in een korte tijd dat het soms moeilijk is om tijd vrij te maken voor dingen zoals een blog update. Maar wij zijn jullie zeker niet vergeten en het spijt ons als dat zo lijkt! Eline zegt wel eens: “Neem een maand van een gemiddeld persoon en prop dat in één week. Welkom in mijn leven.” En zo lijkt het inderdaad, processen waar je normaal maanden of zelfs jaren over doet, gaan je hier in een aantal weken doorheen. Dit is een enorme zegen omdat we zo heel snel kunnen groeien. Maar dat maakt deze tijd ook heel intensief, omdat al die processen wel tijd, aandacht en energie nodig hebben.
Wat is er de afgelopen maanden gebeurd in onze harten en onze levens?
Eline:
Ik heb de afgelopen maand een aantal van de moeilijkste, en meest belangrijke weken van m’n leven meegemaakt. Moeilijk omdat ik door een proces van innerlijke genezing heen ging, met alle emoties die daarbij komen. Innerlijke genezing is niet alleen voor mensen die trauma’s hebben of een verschrikkelijke jeugd hebben gehad. Ieder persoon heeft ergens diep van binnen pijn en angsten (gehad), omdat niemand een perfect leven heeft (gehad). Veel mensen beseffen dit niet, omdat ze niet diep in hun hart durven te kijken, omdat ze bang zijn voor wat ze zullen ontdekken. Dit is heel begrijpelijk, maar als je beseft dat Gods liefde alle angst verdrijft en alle pijn geneest, geeft dit zowel moed als hoop om door die diepere lagen van je binnenkant heen te werken. Het klinkt alsof dat een hoop zwaar werk is en je zelf moet gaan graven in je hart. Maar ik heb die weken juist ervaren dat ik helemaal niet zelf ‘aan de slag met mezelf hoef’, maar dat ik me gewoon kan richten op God. Als ik Hem toestemming geef om zo diep te gaan als Hij weet dat ik op dit moment aankan, doet Zijn liefde de rest. Deze maanden heb ik Gods liefde dichterbij ervaren als ooit tevoren. Hoewel het lang niet altijd makkelijk was om te beseffen dat ik ook onbeantwoorde behoeftes, genegeerde pijn en gedreven angsten in de hoekjes van m’n hart had wonen, gaven de bijzondere ontmoetingen met God me zowel de kracht als de motivatie om verder te kijken. Ik hield me vast aan de belofte dat achter iedere angst een schatkamer van vrijheid ligt. (meer hierover heb ik geschreven in m’n stukje “Tears are diamonds”)
Die belofte is echt waar. Na dit proces voel ik me letterlijk een ander mens, of beter gezegd, ik voel me mezelf geworden, zonder de lagen van angst en gekwetstheid die m’n echte identiteit verstoppen. Ik heb meer liefde voor mensen, voor mezelf en voor God en ik ben meer in staat liefde te ontvangen van mensen en van God. Ik heb mezelf en God zoveel beter leren kennen! Ik ben wie ik ben en dat is genoeg. Niet wat ik doe bepaalt wie ik ben, maar wie ik ben bepaalt wat ik doe. Dat is een waarheid die ik al jarenlang geloofde met m’n hoofd, maar onbewust nog geen deel waren van mijn levensstijl en mijn hart. Nu kan ik echt zeggen dat ik dit begrijp, geloof en uitleef. Ik weet wie ik ben en dat maakt het leven eigenlijk heel erg simpel. Liefde, vrede en vreugde zijn dingen die automatisch uit mij stromen als ik mezelf ben, omdat ik ben gemaakt in het evenbeeld van de God die de Liefde Zelf is, de Vredevorst is en in wiens aanwezigheid volledige vreugde is (1 John 4: 16, Jesaja 9:6 en Psalm 16:11). Mensen lief hebben is geen hard werk meer of iets wat ik ‘moet’ doen, maar iets wat heel natuurlijk is om te doen, omdat ik gemaakt ben voor liefde! Ik heb me nog nooit zo vrij gevoeld om mezelf te zijn. God is ontzettend goed!
Ik heb me inmiddels ook aangemeld voor het tweede jaar van BSSM. Op 21 februari schreef ik hierover op Facebook: Ik heb me net aangemeld voor BSSM tweede jaar! :) Waarom nog een jaar bij Bethel? Omdat het eerste jaar zich richt op identiteit en het tweede jaar op leiderschap. Ik wil tweede jaar doen omdat ik meer van God wil, dieper in Zijn hart wil gaan en meer wil ervaren van Zijn aanwezigheid. Ik wil leren hoe ik een goede rentmeester kan zijn met de zegeningen, doorbraken en openbaringen die ik heb ontvangen, zodat het kan toenemen en ik het kan delen met de mensen om me heen! Ik wil nog langer in deze cultuur doordrenkt worden, zodat ik de cultuur van opwekking kan creeeren overal waar ik ga! Papa God en ik hebben het erover gehad en we vonden het allebei een goed idee om terug te komen in Redding na de zomer! :)
Aankomende donderdag vertrek ik op mijn zendingsreis naar Nicaragua. Ik heb al het geld binnen gekregen op bijzondere wijze door giften, God heeft voorzien! Iedereen die gebeden heeft of een gift gegeven heeft; ontzettend bedankt! Alles wat ik meemaak in Nica deze weken zullen ook een deel van jouw leven zijn omdat je in mijn ‘team’ zit! Ik heb enorm veel zin in de reis, we gaan voornamelijk met een lokale ministry mee die daar op de vuillnisbelt Tikatipa de mensen lief hebt en de kinderen voedt. We zullen ook kerken bezoeken, de straten opgaan, veel tijd nemen om voor mensen te bidden, met kinderen spelen en Gods aanwezigheid brengen in het op twee-na-armste land van Zuid-Amerika. Ik ben benieuwd naar alle getuigenissen die hieruit gaan komen! Ik moet wel toegeven dat ik de afgelopen dagen een klein beetje gestrest ben, omdat het voor mij heel belangrijk is om me goed voor te bereiden. Buiten alle praktische voorbereiding om (die ook veel tijd kosten), wil ik me ook geestelijk en emotioneel kunnen voorbereiden op een intensieve bedieningstijd deze reis. Maar aangezien school nog door gaat en ik nog veel moet regelen voor donderdag, kan ik niet helemaal de rust/tijd voor de emotionele voorbereiding vinden. Zouden jullie voor vrede en mogelijkheid tot rust willen bidden?
En dan zijn er nog duizenden dingen die ik zou kunnen vertellen die we hier mee maken. Bizarre ontmoetingen, bemoedigende getuigenissen, radicale veranderingen, grote dromen, leuke uitjes en creatieve expressies. Je kunt hierover lezen op onze Facebook updates, mijnpersoonlijke blog of anders in persoon naar vragen als we terug zijn. Bedankt voor je tijd, gebed en betrokkenheid!
zondag 17 maart 2013
The value of beauty
The lovely Danae asked me to be her guest blogger for one time and write something about the power of beauty. So I did... and you can find the result here:
Click on this link for my piece about 'the value of beauty'
“Beauty is an aspect of Gods glory which attracts the soul and rises up a desire to respond to it.”
Click on this link for my piece about 'the value of beauty'
“Beauty is an aspect of Gods glory which attracts the soul and rises up a desire to respond to it.”
donderdag 14 maart 2013
The importance of love
Please let me remind you of what I've been reminded of over and over again: the importance of love.
Listen with me, I can hear the heart cries around me and within me: LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM.
In this culture of extreme annointing it's easy to love someone for what they do, what they have, what they carry or what they can give. In this culture of willingness to help, it's easy to love someone for what they need. In this culture of fast changes, it's easy to love someone for who they were. In this prophetic culture, it's easy to love someone for who they will be. But the truth is, you will not love someone when they are who they will be unless you love them for who they are right now, because the person they will be is already in the person they are now.
It's easy to love people for what they do, what they have, what they give, what they need, who they were and who they will be. It's a life task to love people for who they are.
If your life is a pen and you're writing a message on every heart you encounter, the most powerful words you can engrave in their hearts is: "I love you for who you are and I want you to know the One whose nature is Love."
When my time here on earth is done and I go to my beautiful King (how I love Him!), there's only one thing I want to hear from His mouth and read in His eyes. I don't care how powerful my ministry has been, how many churches have been awakened by my preachings and books, how many bodies and hearts have been healed through my prayers and not even how many people have said 'yes' to Jesus in my lifetime. I only care about one thing and that's hearing Him say: "She knew how to love people for who they are, because she saw Me in every single one of them."
No matter what I say, what I believe and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
(1 Corinthians 13: 4, The Message).
Tears are diamonds
Tears are diamonds
“Autch!” I
quickly withdraw my hands as the hot stove leaves a mark on them. As cold water
tries to cool down the burning, I wonder about how my fingers would look if my
natural response to pain wouldn’t be to withdraw. Luckily my body reacts faster
than my conscious mind does in those situations. I’ve learned my lesson, oven
gloves are not just a nice accessory, but rather really necessary. Pain has
taught me well.
Just as
your body, your heart’s response to pain is withdrawal. When you are hurt by
someone, your first reaction is to withdraw. Pain cries out for protection and
restoration and it won’t stop crying until it’s satisfied. You can put it in a
locked, soundproof room of your heart, but that won’t make Pain stop crying,
you just won’t hear it anymore. It’s cry for protection will make you shut
yourself off. Pain never wants to be repeated, no matter the cost. But what
pain doesn’t make you realize is that when you respond out of hurt, the only
result is more pain. By protecting yourself you miss out on the most important
things you need for restoration.
To some
degree, we all are afraid of pain. Some people already start crying when
someone steps on their toe, while others only say “that’s unfortunate!” when a
nail pierces their two fingers. But even you have such a high pain tolerance as
the man in the last situation (it’s a true story), you will always try to
prevent pain. Pain’s purpose is to become more careful so it can be prevented.
Next time I’ll take lasagna out of the oven, I will first make sure I’m wearing
my oven gloves! The more afraid you are for pain, the more careful you’re
living in order to prevent it.
Pain has a
very clear message and the difficult thing is that the message is true. You
need to be protected and sometimes you need to be careful because the pain is
an indication for real danger. But the message pain gives is not the full
truth, it’s influenced by fear. Especially when pain is locked up in the
soundproof room, it screams louder and louder in order to be heard, until the point
that it’s message is taken into extremes. Unprocessed pain can destroy your
heart once it breaks loose and the fear for more pain can wreck your life. Pain
itself is not wrong, but the way we deal with it is the problem.
Pain is not
bad, we’ve attached way more fear to it than necessary. We have become
afraid to let people come close to us, because of the fear of being hurt
(again). But only when you let people come close enough to hurt you, they are
close enough to love you. I smile when a stranger says I’m beautiful, but after
10 minutes I already forgot about it. But if my best friend or my mentor points
out an aspect of my identity which is admirable, I feel truly loved. The love of the ones who
are closer to you is more valuable than the love of the ones who are at a
distance. That’s why you can only receive love to the extend you’ve allowed
people to come close you. That’s also why you are always hurt the most by the
ones you love the most. They know your weaknesses, most vulnerable parts, insecurities and secrets. Just touching one
of your wounds can be more hurtful than a stab of a knife at a healthy spot.
Every time you share you heart, you’re taking a risk. You’re giving people an
opportunity to hurt your inner core, but you’re also giving them an opportunity
to get to know you better. To know you is to love you, so the more people know
you, the more they love you.
God once
told me: “You are fighting the arms that are meant to hold you.” As I started
thinking about this, I saw what He meant. For years I’ve been trying to be as
independent and self-sufficient as possible, until I found out this year that
those were not virtues but hindrances for growth. I started to learn to express
my needs and let others help me. In that process I felt incredibly vulnerable.
It was scary to see how much closer people could come. Luckily I’m in a very
safe environment, surrounded by people who want the best for me. But I wasn’t
used to having people come so close, so I found myself withdrawing from those
relationships or fighting their attempts to help me. I was so afraid of pain,
that I tried to protect myself while I actually was withholding myself from the
things I needed the most: love, support, understanding and protection.
Even with
God this is true. We are afraid to let Him come too close, because His love
opens up the doors of our heart, especially the locked ones with screaming pain
behind them. But He will always give us the love and the strength to be able to
process the pain. I’ve had some pretty tough weeks this month because of this
very reason, but I can truly say it’s all worth it. Because of some emotional
healing, I now experience deeper levels
of love for God, from God, from people and for people. I could have shut off
and stopped the processes that we were working through, because it was too
painful. But I learned to hold on the hands with holes who were healing the
holes in my heart. I discovered that the most valuable treasures are often
found in dark corners of fear and in deep rivers of tears. You can’t heal the
wounds you don’t know you have and you can’t receive the things you don’t know
you need. Discovering your wounds and needs can be extremely painful, but it’s
the only way to healing and full wholeness.
So take the
risk. Accept Daddy God’s love. Let people come close. Process the pain. Let
them love you. Listen to your pain, but let Love’s message be the only one that
remains. Let love come, even if the measure of love is bigger than the measure
of what you think are worth. Go deep. Share your heart. Feel. Cry. Live.
Because tears caught in the light of the Sun
are always transformed into diamonds.
dinsdag 19 februari 2013
ARTelier
That's what my heart needs, especially when in a emotionally extreme season. But I won't wait for my ARTelier, I'll start with what I have now and dream for more. :) So when you walk into our apartment, it often looks like a bomb exploded in our dining room. A creative explosion covers the table, chairs and ground, made by either me or my roommate Roos.
Let there be ART!
Reality, Identity and Destiny
Anytime I learn something, I don't want to just keep it on my knowledge-shelf, I want to apply it in my life. So put together a personal declaration. In this declaration I wrote down in 20 points who God have said I am, positive things about my identity and destiny, positive expectations for that day and the opposite truth of every lie I (have) believe(d) in. The first point is for example: "I am loved, I am a lover and I am lovable! To know me is to love me." The last point is: "It only becomes better. There's only increase in the Kingdom. I will go from glory to glory, the best is yet to come." You get the idea ;)
Every morning I read this personalized declaration and a declaration we got from school out loud while doing my hair and make-up, a good preparation for the day! It's amazing how much I've changed by such a simple act of speaking the truth over my life, I feel less led by random thoughts and emotions and more led by truth and Gods Spirit. I can recognize lies in my thinking way easier and quicker now, because the truth I spoke over myself that morning pops in my head. The effects I already see are amazing!
So I decided to take it a step further. I bought a small binder and decided to create my Eline-book out of this. I wanted a place where I collected all my prophecies, encounters, testimonies, virtues and dreams. So I printed out all the prophecies that are spoken over me this school year. Prophecies are words of God spoken by people. In case you're wondering how you can know that those words are from God, I can testify you that it is true. I've received the exact same words about my future and my character several times by different people, sometimes people who don't know me at all and are not connected to the other people who told me the exact same words. Isn't that amazing?
I also printed out my most life-changing encounters I've had with God, some Scriptures that feel like my life-verses and a list of 60 dreams. A couple of months ago I started writing a list of 100 dreams for my life, both small and big dreams. I'm now at number 75 and I'm pretty excited for my life! :)
Now I have my heart put in a book and can read over my reality, identity and destiny as many times as I want!
I encourage you to do the same! Take the challenge and see for yourself what the results in your life will be.
maandag 18 februari 2013
Personal Papa
Papa is personal
“Daddy’s
home!” Screams and laughter immediately fills the hallway while 5 kids are
running down the stairs, and jumping into Daddy’s arms. “Hey kids, I missed
you! Hi precious-Paige, hi princess-Sarah, hi energy-bomb-Tom, hi
strong-Stephen and hello butterfly-Bella!” Daddy gives every kid a hug while he
calls them by name. “It’s date night tonight!” His voice hasn’t left his mouth
fully yet before all the excited voices of the kids join him in a loud cheer.
Every time
Daddy would take one of his kids out on a ‘Daddy-date’. What that looked like
is different for every one of them. While he spend hours talking with Paige in
her favorite coffee shop, he wouldn't dare to take Tom anywhere with four walls.
No, energy-bomb-Tom and he would go to a playground and chase each other while
gliding off the slides. His daughter Bella loves to be active too, but she
rather takes her Dad to her ballet class and show him all the new dance moves
she has learned that week. And they would wait until everybody left the dance
room after class so Bella and her Dad could dance around the room. They would
dance until the music stopped and the lights were turned off and Bella was
feeling dizzy because her father swirled her around for so many times. Stephen
would often laugh at Bella when she told him what they had done on their
Daddy-date, because that didn’t sound fun for him at all. He would much rather
play games with his Dad, whether that would be chess or football. Dad would
play just good enough to challenge Stephen, but of course he always lets him
win. And last but not least, during the Daddy-date with Sarah they would never
be just with the two of them. They always are always accompanied by crayons,
pencils and paint in all the colors of the rainbow. The hands of Sarah and her
Dad would always be filled with paintbrushes, scissors and glue sticks, until
the papers on the table would not show any white anymore. And every painting
little Sarah finished is shown to Daddy. Daddy would praise her creativity and
welcome her new masterpiece with a lot of “Oh”’s and “Ah”’s. Daddy would take
her painting and put it on the fridge, where the surface was completely filled
with her creative expressions, Daddy’s trophies.
The best
fathers are personal fathers, who see the unique identity of every child and
speaks his or her own language. Good Dads don’t spend time with energetic boys
in the same way he spends time with creative girls. The best Dad of the whole
Universe is our Father God, and yet we think that every one of His children
needs to spend time with Him in one and the same way. We drown ourselves into
seas of words, commentaries, Bible verses and books, while our guitar is
begging us to let the sounds be lifted up as a sacrifice of worship. We tie
ourselves down to our chairs to have some ‘serious prayer time’, while our feet
are restless and can’t wait to take us somewhere beautiful. We lock ourselves
in our closet to be able to hear Gods voice and see His face, while the images
that keep coming into our mind are not allowed to be released onto the canvas
in the corner of the room. Religion taught us well.
We’ve learned that the only
way to succeed as a Christian is when we are at least reading 3 chapters of the
Bible, spending hours praying on our knees while a blindfold forces our eyes to
remain closed and the only movement accepted is the heart moved in compassion. And
then we wonder why the colors of both the interior of our churches and the
hairs of our members becomes more and more gray. The (young) people don’t find
the freedom to express their unique selves in Christianity anymore, so keep
searching for something else.
Do we
really think that our Daddy God is going to be mad at us when we instead of
saying prayers that we’ve heard from others in Church, express the deepest
melodies of our heart in the sounds of a singing voice or vibration of a guitar
string? Do we really think that Daddy God is disappointed in us when we’re not
able to spend hours in the silence of a prayer chapel, but rather drive around
in our car while loud music in blasting out of our speakers, while we hear Him
speak through the lyrics? Do we really think that we are less spiritual when we
are not digesting 10 chapters of the rules written in Leviticus, but rather
take one verse and chew on it over and over again, until we can actually taste
the life-changing flavor of love? Do you really think that God is pointing His
condemning finger to the mother of three small children, because she is always
singing songs of thanksgiving while she’s doing the dishes, but she doesn’t
have the time to lock herself in the prayer closet? Who taught us that the
Father -who invented fatherhood and intended relationships to be the most
perfect reflection of His character- is actually a worse Dad than the ones we
see on earth? He created us in the most complicated, unique shape that can only
be defined by the word ‘masterpiece’. Do we really think that He made us in
that shape, so it would become difficult and painful when we’re pushed through
the hole of the status quo, so we can become insecure when we don’t fit into
the ‘one size fits all’?
No, our
Daddy God is a personal Father. Many rules of Christianity are never given by
God Himself, but created by a fearful force called ‘religion’. Father God celebrates
our uniqueness and doesn’t only love us, He also likes us! Yes, the only way
to develop a relationship with someone
you love is by spending time with that person. Spending time with God and
developing a friendship with Him should be our number one priority in our
hearts and agendas, because out of that friendship flows every good thing in
life. All the desires of our heart – love, acceptance, confidence, revelation
of identity, a sense of purpose, safety and restoration – are found in Him. But
He is a personal God and we are unique children, so that relationship looks
different for everybody else.
For me,
that relationship looks like spending a few undisturbed hours every morning
with my King. I love being in the prayer chapel for the whole day, just
surrounded by silence and peace. My time with God is for 90% just laying down
with music in my ears. I talk to Him about everything I’m going through, I
listen to what He wants to say, I see things in my mind He wants to show me and
I often find myself having deep conversations with Wisdom. I love diving in the
Word and seeing the prophetic meaning of old stories or discovering the depths
of the words in the verses, but I find it really difficult to read more than
two chapters in one time. Does this make me the perfect example of a Christian?
No! Does this mean everybody has to spend hours and hours in the ‘secret place’
in order to be ‘holy enough’? No! My calling is knowing Gods heart and
translating the message of His heartbeat. The only way I can do that is by taking
a lot of time to listen to what He wants to say, without being distracted. This
is my way of connecting to God, but it’s not the only way.
Listen to
what I’m NOT saying. I’m not saying that we should stop reading our Bibles, we
should never pray anymore and let our alone-time with God be completely wiped
away from schedules. I really do believe that everybody should have some time
in completely silence, eat the bread of the Word and make our request and
thanksgiving known to God! But how that looks like… that’s up to you and Daddy
God. Don’t confine yourself by rules and restrictions God never intended to
exist. Whether your Daddy-date looks like running 8 miles around town (I
already get exhausted just by the idea!), or like splashing the rainbow on a
canvas, or like sitting in a corner of a coffee shop journaling until you see
Gods words interact with your written words: Daddy enjoys it when you are
enjoying your time with Him! He’s too great to be put in a box and great enough
to let Himself be caught by your uniqueness.
And even
though our quality time with our Father is so important, if that one one-on-One
meeting is the only moment we’re being around Him, we’re not developing close
friendship, but a long distance relationship. Imagine how close you would be to
your father if you would only see him once a week on your ‘daddy-date’, while
the rest of the days you won’t even say hi to him. God is not only a Father of
the Daddy-dates, but also a Father who longs to walk with us in daily life. In
that way He can catch us when we’re falling, laugh with us when we’re having
fun, speak through the mouths of people around us and constantly show His love
in a thousand little gifts all through the day. How walking with the Father
looks like is different for everybody again. Isn’t it a beautiful adventure
that we can discover our own, personal way of connecting to the Creator of the
Universe on the most unique way?
Let the
Church shine in beautiful diversity again, so she becomes attractive to all the
ones who don’t want to be contained by the walls of religion.
©ElineMillenaar
Loving in Nature
I'm so blessed with my roommates. We made this video a couple of weeks ago, when we went out to the lake for some love-time and worship.
I am thankful!
Collaging chaos
I decided that the way my to-do lists look like is a perfect display of the way my left and right side of my brain work together. I think in lists, I have to make lists in order to get all those thoughts, ideas and craziness in my head into order. I even think in lists when I'm having a conversation with someone, so I can always get back to the 'main road' when we went off on rabbit trails. I take notes at school in lists, I make lists when I have a lot of things to do and I make lists when I have a day off.
I just love lists! That's the administrative, left side of my brain.
But then my right side. My right side loves images, colors and beautiful designs. My right side makes me happy. So when I'm making todo-lists, I'm collaging them. It takes me perhaps 5 minutes more work, but everytime I look at my list, I become happy!
Wanna know where I'm talking about about left and right side of the brain? Look at this picture (not made by me):
Hunger and thankfulness
I believe in the balance between thankfulness and hunger. Hunger without thankfulness ends up in frustration or striving. Thankfulness without hunger ends up in settling down, and standing still is actually moving backwards. But I also believe that thankfulness and hunger are not two opposites. Hunger is a sign of thankfulness. Hunger says "I like this so much that I want more.", which is the ultimate way of expressing your value and thankfulness for the gift. And thankfulness for what we have already received, paves the way to receive the 'more' we're hungry for.
The last weeks I realized how much more is available, whether it's through teachings, experiences, encounters with God or conversations with people who carry more Presence than I do yet. I can get either insecure and intimidated by it, or get inspired by it. I want to be inspired, learn, learn, learn, receive more, but yet remain as a child. Childlike hunger expects and desires the very best, never settles for less, but yet gives complete security in your identity right now and doesn't strive into receiving.
I pray for an increase in both thankfulness and hunger for everyone who reads this. There's always more! Please, please, please, never settle, you are way too awesome to shut yourself off by not stretching out for more!
The last weeks I realized how much more is available, whether it's through teachings, experiences, encounters with God or conversations with people who carry more Presence than I do yet. I can get either insecure and intimidated by it, or get inspired by it. I want to be inspired, learn, learn, learn, receive more, but yet remain as a child. Childlike hunger expects and desires the very best, never settles for less, but yet gives complete security in your identity right now and doesn't strive into receiving.
I pray for an increase in both thankfulness and hunger for everyone who reads this. There's always more! Please, please, please, never settle, you are way too awesome to shut yourself off by not stretching out for more!
The blessing of a burden
The blessing of a burden
Sometimes
wisdom doesn't need extravagant words in poetic lines. Sometimes it doesn’t
need the illustrations of examples or the colors of creative writing.
Sometimes wisdom is beautiful enough to be its own masterpiece.
So let me share with you one of the eye-openers I received while staring in the eyes of Wisdom.
Sometimes wisdom is beautiful enough to be its own masterpiece.
So let me share with you one of the eye-openers I received while staring in the eyes of Wisdom.
Every
blessing has a burden and every burden has a blessing.
Every revelation has a responsibility and every responsibility has a revelation.
Every revelation has a responsibility and every responsibility has a revelation.
Let me
unpack this gift of two sentences for you. Every blessing has a burden, because
every blessing needs to be stewarded, used for the right purpose and protected
in order to keep it. We often long for the blessings, but are not willing or
able to take up the burdens. We often received blessings, but neglected the
attached burdens by not using it as it was meant to be. A lot of blessings give
us the ability to help others, so with an increase of blessing we also
experience an increase of the demand for help. Add to that the responsibility
of stewarding a blessing. Stewarding a blessing can look like being thankful
for it, protecting it, treasuring it, sharing it or recording it. Are we
willing to bear the burden of a blessing?
Every
burden has a blessing, because the burden releases the blessing attached to it.
Most people are not willing to carry any burden of people because they fail to
see the blessing that’s attached to it. For example, intercession is a way of
carrying someone’s burden, because you pray for a problem that’s not directly
affecting you. The breakthroughs of the people we prayed for, are also written
down on our account as our ‘fruit’ or ‘harvest’, as we call it in beautiful
Christianees. When we would really realize this, we would be more willing to bear
burdens. I don’t say that the reward should be your first motive, because
there’s just something beautiful in sharing a burden with someone, because you
look like the One who took the whole world on His shoulders only for the sake
of Love. But I do say that there’s a reward of carrying burdens together with
people.
In the Christmas break, God put on my heart to pray for the students of
my school that they won’t sit down and take ‘a break from God’ while they were
at home, but would keep running after more of Him. While I was praying for
this, He showed me that every student who gets up and started running again
because of my prayer, will give me personally extra speed and strength to run
even harder in my own life. This is just an example of the blessing of bearing
a burden. Another one could be in the area of finances. I always had a hard
time asking people for money, especially because I’m used to taking care of
myself. But since I’m dependent on the donations of people for my mission trip,
I learned that I’m robbing others from their opportunity of being blessed by
not asking to carry my financial burden with them. Read that sentence again.
You rob people of their opportunity of sharing in your blessing by not asking
them for help in bearing your burden. I’ve been amazingly privileged with this
chance of going to Nicaragua to love on the poorest of the poor. This trip will
have a harvest that many others would love to see in their own lives, but they
don’t have a chance to go. But like Bill Johnson says: “If you can’t go, send”.
By giving people the chance of sending me, I let them be a part of my trip and
it will make the harvest of my trip also a harvest of their lives! This new
perspective on giving has both stirred up a humility to ask for help and a
generosity to give in my heart, both two things that I was rather unfamiliar
with before.
I can’t
write about burdens without quoting Wisdom Himself: “My burden is light and my
yoke is easy.” Burdens given by God are never heavier than we can carry. Yokes
were always carried by two oxen, and the strongest ox carried the heaviest
part. That’s why Jesus’ burden is light, because He’s carrying it with us and
is actually carrying the heaviest part. It’s a privilege to share His burden,
because it gives us direction on our path and a deeper level of friendship as
we work together. The only burden we are meant to carry with Him is the burden
of love. Let’s never refuse a blessing because we’re afraid of the burden,
because every burden comes with the blessing of an increase in strength to
develop the ability to carry it.
Every
revelation has a responsibility, because being aware of something makes you
accountable for your response. If you are walking over a bridge and there’s
someone almost drowning underneath it, are you responsible for it? That depends
on whether or not you’ve seen or heard the person drown. If not, than it was
not your responsibility, because the problem was not revealed to you. But if
you did hear that person cry out for help and you chose to ignore it, you are
responsible for the cause. It’s the same with spiritual revelations. If you have
a revelation that something is wrong and you still do it, you’re responsible for
it. When you did the exact same thing before you knew it was wrong, it was not
your fault, but a consequence of lack of knowledge of truth. There for, knowledge
is somewhat dangerous and wisdom somewhat demanding, because you’re responsible
to act according to what you know and experienced. But both knowledge and
wisdom are priceless treasures whose value goes far beyond the price that is
paid for it. In every revelation lays the wisdom in how to deal with the
responsibility.
Every
responsibility has a revelation, because when you choose to make yourself
responsible for something, you position yourself to be given the revelations
you need in order to take care of your responsibility. The same principle as
the burdens and the blessings applies here. The President of the United States
gets insight into the most important cases of the country and meets with the
most influential leaders all around the world, because he embraced his
responsibility to take care of America. Doors are opened to the people who are taking
the risk to enter the hallway of responsibility.
Burdens and
blessings, responsibilities and revelations. I’m absolutely not trying to
communicate that you should never ask for a blessing or revelation anymore,
because of the burdens and responsibilities that are attached to it. Just like
I said, any blessing always outweighs the attached burden. I want to help you
receive those blessings and revelations, because I’ve seen in both my life and
in the lives of people around me two big hindrances for receive blessings. The
first is a lack of knowledge about the preparations and stewardship that are
asked of you when receiving a blessing. The second is a fear of bearing any
burden, which hinders a lot of blessings to come.
Let me end with the truth
that is more true than anything that I just wrote: blessings and revelations
are gifts of a good Daddy God, which can’t be earned, but are given in grace.
There’s no striving into blessing. A teachable spirit always keeps learning and
a childlike heart always keeps receiving.
©ElineMillenaar
Poems and tears
Words are the way my inside gets outside. And if, only for a moment, my inside contains a lot of water, a night of processing emotions turns into a couple of pages full of poems and tears. :)
"“When does this stop?!
End this endless flow,
these waves of emotions!”
End this endless flow,
these waves of emotions!”
She screamed silently
while she floated
up and
down.
while she floated
up and
down.
But then she realized
she was addicted to the water."
she was addicted to the water."
--
"Even though,
the bright white
hurts my eyes
the bright white
hurts my eyes
And more,
the mysterious black
scares my heart
the mysterious black
scares my heart
Rather this,
then any shade of grey."
then any shade of grey."
--
"I stare outside
my church window
and wonder what the
world would look like
if we truly believed
the word
was never meant to live
only inside the word.
my church window
and wonder what the
world would look like
if we truly believed
the word
was never meant to live
only inside the word.
Even its letters
scream to break out
into the reader’s life."
scream to break out
into the reader’s life."
--
"I think there’s a good reason
that my left hand
doesn't fit into my right.
that my left hand
doesn't fit into my right.
Even they understand
I need others too."
I need others too."
--
"I know you promised to always be my tree,
but if I come as a whirlwind,
would you still be able to handle me?"
but if I come as a whirlwind,
would you still be able to handle me?"
--
"A blank paper,
waiting to be breathed upon,
proves to me
the beauty of nothing.
So empty of anything,
yet so full of everything."
waiting to be breathed upon,
proves to me
the beauty of nothing.
So empty of anything,
yet so full of everything."
--
"I’m too much in
love with
depths
to be ever afraid of
heights."
©ElineMillenaar
depths
to be ever afraid of
heights."
©ElineMillenaar
Dust
"Stains and scratches only carry stories for the ones who made them."
"The past and the present must reunite to let the future happen."
"The off-key sounds seems to harmonize with the brokenness inside."
"Dust always returns to dust. Drowning is my only chance to live again."
Some sentences from my prophetic, poetic story called "Dust".
I presented it for my Creativity Track for school, this is my personal project for the writers group and my first fictional story in English. It's about someone who returns to an old, abandoned house and the description of the rooms are symbolic for the process of the main character. The house is a symbol of the heart, but the rest of the interpretation is up to you! See this link for the story:
http://issuu.com/missglowinthedark/docs/dust?mode=window or click on the magazine to read it in fullscreen.
How I love to paint with words :)
Oh and while I wrote it I listened to these songs, because beautiful music with poetic lyrics is just the best to get your inspiration from!
Cinematic Orchestra - to build a home
Cinematic Orchestra - arrival of the birds
Cinematic Orchestra - exodus
"The past and the present must reunite to let the future happen."
"The off-key sounds seems to harmonize with the brokenness inside."
"Dust always returns to dust. Drowning is my only chance to live again."
Some sentences from my prophetic, poetic story called "Dust".
I presented it for my Creativity Track for school, this is my personal project for the writers group and my first fictional story in English. It's about someone who returns to an old, abandoned house and the description of the rooms are symbolic for the process of the main character. The house is a symbol of the heart, but the rest of the interpretation is up to you! See this link for the story:
http://issuu.com/missglowinthedark/docs/dust?mode=window or click on the magazine to read it in fullscreen.
How I love to paint with words :)
Oh and while I wrote it I listened to these songs, because beautiful music with poetic lyrics is just the best to get your inspiration from!
Cinematic Orchestra - to build a home
Cinematic Orchestra - arrival of the birds
Cinematic Orchestra - exodus
donderdag 3 januari 2013
Prophetic painting
My lovely roommate Kaitie gave me the most incredible Christmas present ever: she made this prophetic painting for me. Isn't it beautiful!?
This is so me. Seriously, this is a summary of who I am. The dancer, the freedom, the balance between order and chaos, the bright colors, the fire colors, the expressiveness: this is me!
And then the words, a part of the lyrics from a song:
"It was the rhythm of the dancers that gave the poet's life.
It was the spirit of the poets that gave the soldiers strength to fight.
It is the fire of the young ones,
it is the wisdom of the old."
- City on the hill
That is me! Dancer, poet, soldier, fire and wisdom: things I am or want to be. Wow!
Every time I walk in my bedroom and see this painting above my bed, I get reminded of my identity and destiny!
Christmas break: family, peace and homework
"2,5 weeks Christmas break... Plenty of time! I will miss everybody so much, it's so long!"
-2 weeks later-
"Where did the time go? I have so much things I still want and need to do and school starts Monday!"
Yes, this Christmas break flew by, but not because it was so incredibly busy. It was actually really peaceful, but productive at the same time because I did a lot of homework. January is a crazy homework month at my school, so I'm glad I got these weeks to catch up.
Some examples of my homework are... reading the Bible, doing a 4-hour long Bible study on 2nd John, reading a book called 'Supernatural ways of royalty' (incredible!) and filling in the 'Supernatural ways of royalty-workbook'. That workbook is filled with 175 pages of questions like "What would you not be willing to give up if God asked you to" and "What are the 10 rules/beliefs in your home/childhood? Which ones do you still recognize as truth and which ones not as (completely) true anymore?" and "If you was raised to become the President or Queen of the country, on what areas would your behavior and beliefs be different than they are now?" and "Do you get your identity from the things that you do or the things that you are?". It takes me sometimes 10 minutes to answer a question, because I have to think so deep and really reflect on some things. Really good, really practical and life changing.
So the content of my homework is amazing, but the locations I'm doing my homework, have my prayer-time and my 'think and journal'-time is incredible too! One of my favorite places on earth is the Alabaster house: the prayer house of Bethel Church (and the 'prophetic garden' around it). It's a room that's open 24/7 for everybody who just needs a quiet place with a peaceful atmosphere to focus on God without getting distracted. I love biking there in the mornings, especially when the sun shines on the snow of the mountain tops and I can enjoy the beautiful nature around me. And after that nice bike ride I get to spend a few undisturbed hours with my King before I head back and start the rest of my activities. Love it!
This break I stayed in Redding, so I had to miss my family who are back in the Netherlands. But luckily there's a Dutch family here in Redding who 'adopted' me and my roommates as 'spiritual daughters' and are taking such good care of us. We can always stay there, just to enjoy the family feeling for as long as we want. These last weeks I spend more nights at their house than in my own apartment! The house is filled with amazing inspiring people and my conversations with them are some of the highlights of this break. Some people have the ability to change your mindset completely and make you think about things you were 'sure of''. They are that kind of people and that's the kind of people I want to surround myself with. I always want to keep learning, keep changing and keep thinking.
At that "Dutchies house" they have a backyard where I sat down to journal and do homework for an afternoon. I was sitting in the sun next to the glittering Sacramento river, it's as warm at January 1st in California as it is in May/June in the Netherlands. I love it! Birds singing, ducks floating on the river and squirrels chasing each other between the trees. (sounds really romantic, but since someone called squirrels 'a rat with a really long tail' I find them way less attractive!)
What a privilege to live this life. :-)
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